Love lost but not forgotten

Maswood Alam Khan from Maryland, USA
He is very young. He studies in the seventh grade in an American high school. I am close to his family. I am very friendly with him, so friendly that he started disclosing to me some of his deep secrets that he dares not disclose even to his mother or to his sister. He likes me immensely because I always hear him attentively both in person and over telephone and he feels I always try to empathize with him.

He fell in love with a cute Japanese girl who was his classmate in the same school he studied in. He says it was a serious love and the first of its kind in his life. One day the Japanese girl had to say goodbye to him before she left America for Japan along with her family. Now there is no contact between these two young lovers, not even in their facebook pages. The young boy lost the love but has not forgotten his first love.

It was his calf love: his foolish, unreasoning and extravagant passion for a Japanese girl. But, I did not warn the 7th grader about the danger of calf love. I rather kept mum. I had not the courage to tell him that it was awfully wrong. I could not blame his unusual precocity to fall in love when he is only thirteen years old because at this age of his many of us also had a crush towards love and when we were in our later teens, we also get carried away with fantasies of our own. We also peeped at girls through our fingers.

Calf love, some call it ‘puppy love’ and some even call it ‘kitten love’, is very dangerous but very common in everybody’s life when one transits from his or her puberty to adolescence — a turbulent period of transition when a teenager, or even one in his or her preteen years, becomes moonstruck and feels an urge to fall in love not only with a peer but, in some cases, also with an elder like a teacher or a friend’s parent or an actor older by many years or a rock star of his or her father’s age.

Boys and girls trapped in puppy loves spend their days and nights in daydreams and wishful fantasies in spite of warning from their parents reminding them of the old saying: “If you marry on the strength of puppy love, you will end up leading a dog’s life”.

Most of the first loves, in most people’s lives, are always lost forever and never ever found back. “You lost your teddy bear, you became sad; but when it was found later, you were happy. When you had learned what love was like you fell in love and then your love was lost that was never found. You are sad for the rest of your life”.

Perhaps first love would not have been so sweet to reminisce about, had it not been lost forever!

(The writer can be reached at



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